Protect yourself with video game themed condoms!

Many people remember the day their mom or dad gave them “the talk.” You know, about the bits and the bobs, the ins and the outs, the birds and the bees. But did one of your parents ever give you “the protection talk?” For me, that was a much more awkward and, in hindsight, funny moment of my adolescence. My point is, if your parental unit parted these latex bad boys on you at the first sign of a serious relationship, it probably would have gone a lot smoother.

Sleek Video Game has the scoop on a gaming-inspired brand of condoms called Play (hat tip to Reddit, where I found this link). Packaged in a very GameBoy-esque box, Play sells packs of 6 retro game themed condoms. Each one comes in its own little GameBoy catridge packaging, showcasing sexed up retro game names like Donkey Shlong and Sextris. Yes, these will do just fine.

I know what you’re thinking, why was Andrew’s protection talk so awkward and/or funny? Alright, gather round, it’s story time…

I’m in high school and in the early stages of my first serious relationship. I’m eating lunch on the couch on a Saturday when my dad comes home from the store. From a good distance he throws a small box at me. I look up just as the box bounces off my forehead and under the coffee table. As my hand blindly searches under the table for it I hear my dad say “Every time, Andrew. Every time.” I’m looking at him quizzically as my hand finds the box and brings it up to my face. I look down to find a box of Trojan brand polyurethane condoms. I’m not sure who was more embarrassed, my dad or myself. We defaulted to our respective defense mechanisms in awkward times and I could only laugh as he walked away.

OK maybe its not too funny but it gets a bit better…

Flash forward several years to my college years. I’m studying abroad – living in a tiny room with astro-turf green carpeting within the dorm of Regent’s College, an international school right in the middle of Regent’s Park in London’s Marylebone neighborhood. My roomate, a hardcore kid from Jersey, and a female student from down south enjoy each others’, ahem, company a bit too much. One night as I’m hurriedly being rushed from the room my roommate tells me he is in need of protection. I tell him to grab a condom from the little wooden box on my desk (you know you had one too). The next morning I find two tangled bodies in the bottom bunk and an empty condom wrapper on the floor – one of the polyurethane ones my dad gave me years ago. I’d never used them, always heard the latex alternatives were easily broken. I’m thinking “do rubbers expire?” and “I hope polyurethane has a shelf life of more than 5 years.” Turns out they don’t and they gave my roommate quite a scare.

What’s the point of the story? Well if my dad had given me a box of gaming condoms instead of ones made of glorified plastic wrap, that kid from Jersey probably wouldn’t have sweated out the next few weeks of that month, if you know what I mean.

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