Pixels & Pinups: GoldenEye Babe Throwdown
Pixels & Pinups: The Ultimate Gamer Babe Throwdown – GoldenEye Edition
Are you a fan of hot babes? More specifically are you a fan of hot gamer babes? If so, then have we got a competition for you! A few weeks ago, we launched our Pixels & Pinups: The Ultimate Gamer Babe competition and today it’s time for round 6 of our too hot for TV babe buffet! Here’s how this smoking hot babe-off will play out: Every Friday the MMOMFG staff (no pun intended) will seek out two hot gamer babes, be them virtual or fleshy, to duel it out battle royale style. And by battle royale, I mean you lucky dudes and dudettes will get to vote for who you think struts their stuff the best! Each week two new hotties will duke it out in the hopes of making it to the December Showdown, where the winner from each week leading up to that point will then compete to determine who is the sauciest tart of 2010!
Last week was a vicious battle between two classic Final Fantasy cuties and this week we continue that trend of classic gamer babage.
Natalya Simonova vs. Xenia Onatopp
This week we travel back to a pivotal time in many young boys’ lives to visit some of the hotties from perhaps one of the greatest shooters of our lifetime. If you couldn’t tell by the names of this week’s ladies, I am talking of course about GoldenEye 007, a movie/game combo that literally rocked my perception of gaming/film going/the female species. GoldenEye 007 was perhaps one of the most scandalous movies I had been privy to seeing in my young boyhood, which perhaps says more about my upbringing than I would like to admit, and when the Nintendo 64 provided me with the opportunity to play against and with these virtual beauties, well the rest is history. We know who won the will to survive the game, but now its time for these two Bond girls to throwdown MMOMFG style. Will Xenia finally get to avenge her untimely death all these years later? Read on and vote to find out.
Natalya
What’s Hot
Blue Eyed Beauty – Even at a young age the first thing I noticed about a woman was her…eyes, and this Russian beauty had one hell of a set of baby blues. Not so noticeable in game, but on camera you’d be a fool not to fall in love with a set like those. Her piercing blues were enough to get James Bond off his game, so you know you better be careful.
Nerd Alert – In case you have forgotten our girl Natalya was also a nerd! A sexy Russian accented nerd! What’s not to like? She worked as a programmer at the Severynaya facility and ultimately stopped the GoldenEye from killing us all. Hot? Check. Nerd? Check. Badass? Not so much, but two out of three ain’t bad!
What’s Not
Escort this! – Escort missions are the worst, and unfortunately in the game version of GoldenEye you find yourself escorting none other than our blue-eyed beauty. I like a woman who can hold her own to some extent, someone who isn’t too needy, if you know what I mean. It doesn’t help that her AI was extremely below par. I can still recall pangs of frustration when this trick would keep running around corners right into the business end of some bad dude’s AK, causing me to have to restart the level all over again. I don’t know if I have time for a woman who is going to fool around with another man’s gun like that, it’s just not cool. Let’s not forget her 64 bit incarnation. I know graphics weren’t all bells and whistles back then, but the block head and football shoulders really turned me off to one of my oldest heartthrobs.
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Xenia
What’s Hot
Wild Thing – Oh, my! This little lady made more than my heart sing, IYKWIM! This saucy minx showed that being bad can be sexy, and she did it like a champ. As I said before, I like a woman who can take care of herself, and Xenia certainly knows how to handle herself and a gun or two. The all black wearing vixen will do more than just clean your whistle and she’ll have one hell of a time doing it. She’s definitely not one of those girls you bring home to Mom, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun! Which brings me to…
No Strings Attached – Natalya is definitely a relationship type gamer chick, nice, soft-spoken seeking commitment. That’s nice and all but I’ve got a relationship in real life, and I hold my gamer babe flings to a lesser standard. No strings attached, someone fast and loose and ready to rock, someone like…Xenia? She’s definitely the gamer babe just looking for a good time, and if something new comes along next week I won’t feel bad switching loyalties.
Red Balls – If you thought blue balls were bad, then you must not remember one of the final levels of GoldenEye. Red balls, dear reader, are when you find yourself dead and your balls bloodied at the expense of jungle woman Xenia and her damned grenade launcher. I played through the game a little while back and it wasn’t all that bad as I remembered, but at the time she was one of the original ball busters. Why is this good you might ask? That’s because of the oh so rewarding feeling you got when you finally capped this bitch once and for all. All that sexual tension had to boil over at some point, and nothing says “you look sexy today” like a few hundred lead rounds to the face.
What’s Not
Thunder Thighs – She doesn’t have those fat, rolling thighs like you’re probably thinking. No, these puppies are something far more death inducing than any sort of cosmetic attribute. She is smoking hot, with that dark, mysterious air about her. Alas, it is all a ploy. She’ll use her looks to lure you into her chamber then completely choke you the F out with her vise grip thighs. While this might get some dudes off, I’m of the mindset that I want to survive my one night stands. Any chick that can choke out a grown man is grounds for me to admire from a distance.
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The Verdict
I’m really torn between the two. In all honesty, both of this week’s contestants had my young gamer heart a-flutter. Ultimately though, I think I have to go with Xenia. The killer thighs thing has me on edge and is still burned into my mind all these years later, but in the end her pixel rendering is what does it for me. See-through shirt and midriff FTW! She also happens to be one of the more enjoyable female foes in my gaming history.
Voting
Staff will each get to cast one vote. Readers can vote as many times as they want on site. Tweet this or retweet ours to double your vote value. Or post a vote to our Facebook page to triple your vote value. If you write your vote on a the back of a fortune cookie slip, wrap it around a pigeons leg, and send it to us that way we’ll pretty much call the competition in your favor. Voting ends Wednesday 12pm EST next week.
WINNER
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Voting is now closed, and our winner this week is Natalya, in a close call. Thanks to all who voted, be sure to check back this friday for the next battle of gamer babe supremacy.
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Nice one.
