MMOMFGames of the Week – March 8

There is no week better than this to bring back our old classic: MMOMFGames of the Week. Basically for those of you new to the site, I will highlight the best games coming out this week and will also add in our Sleeper Pick of the Week, whether it be funny, goofy, or just plain insane (in the membrane). If you thought your wallet was already in shambles, then you can thank Square Enix for officially putting you in your own private Hurt Locker. Sorry, I just saw the Academy Awards and that movie won so many damn trophies, I can’t get it out of my mind. Also, was anyone amazed the dude from S.W.A.T. was up for Best Actor against George Clooney, Morgan Freeman and Jeff Bridges? I better get on with the games though. Thankfully, no games coming out this week need to worry about maintaining functional servers (thanks for last week EA…).

If you’ve got karate on the mind and noodles on the pallet, Yakuza 3 is going to tickle your naughty parts. Having played the demo where you’re a ranked mafia member returning to your home city after being away for a few years, you are immediately thrusted into action. A group of sunglassed jive turkeys are looking to front on your block and you are going to have to either kick/punch your way to the top, or pull up on the block and let your gat explode (before you switch your mind back into freak mode). This game has it all: RPG leveling, karaoke, crazy Asian stuff like pandas and upskirts, as well as Triad mafia shenanigans. Give it a try, it’s better than your average beat-em-up, but not quite as good as Shenmue of our yesteryear.

Having recently reviewed both DLCs for Resident Evil 5, Lost in Nightmares and Desperate Escape, you’d think we wouldn’t necessarily endorse the Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition. You’d be wrong like usual, because if you don’t already own the original game, you can get yourself a copy of an incredible title bulked up by the DLCs on the same disk. RE5 was a great addition to a fantastic series and you might as well do yourself the favor of helping Chris Redfield not get eaten by African zombies. Hell, somebody has to do it!

Well, here we are. We’ve made it to the moment of truth. Which system holds up as the superior console for Final Fantasy XIII? Who gives a rat’s tuckus? The fact that on launch day, both PS3 owners and Xbox 360 users will revel in the beauty that is FFXIII is more than enough to keep both sides playing nice. If you want to know if we recommend this title, the answer is an undoubted YES. In fact, as last poll concluded, I believe everyone here at MMOMFG will be buying the game. Our editor Jeremy will be picking this up as his first Final Fantasy title. Good luck to him and to us all about getting a drop of sunlight this week; we may need it.

Now the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The moment where many enter, but only one can win… The Sleeper Pick of the Week! Unfortunately, the title is not as funny as previous winners like Babiez 2, Pro Hair Stylist and Walk it Out (not to be confused with the mediocre famous rap tune of the same name). This week however, you’ll have the opportunity to waste $40 on Nintendo Wii’s Racquet Sports. The title that manages to pack five of your favorite racket sports (or racquet sports if you’re a weird Canadian) onto a single disk. If you had SO much fun playing Wii Tennis, then you’re probably douchey enough to buy a $40 game with five nearly identical sports. Try your un-athletic hand at Table Tennis, Beach Tennis, Badminton and Pocket Pull. Supposedly, there is a camera included and you can play controller free.

My guess is they want you doing something similar to Chat Roulette, but hopefully with less old men and tweens in the same chat channel (or game). Take it from me, unless you like getting drunk and swinging a racket uncontrollably while remembering your days of JV tennis stardom, stay away from this game. Now if you’re like me and that last sentence makes you really want to remember those days, grab a brewski, blow your hair out like Pauly D and go get yourself a copy of Racquet Sports.

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