Pitfall: The Uncharted 2 Killer

Pitfall: The Uncharted 2 Killer

Whether your idea of fun is having the ability to walk left or right, go up and down ladders, or swinging over sedentary alligators, Pitfall has it all. Despite having aged graphics and sound effects and a limited story mode, Pitfall Harry’s epic adventure, Pitfall, humiliates the 2009 smash hit, Uncharted 2.

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What’s Good

Graphics that won’t confuse you – Pitfall isn’t going to have a lot of environmental details or other characters on the screen to confuse you. In Uncharted 2, you can be confused by who you are due to the sheer amount of scenery, characters and explosions on screen. Pitfall promises to not distract you with unnecessary visuals that distract from the main story.

Who needs side quests? – Pitfall Harry has one mission: to keep moving to the right! Uncharted 2 makes you follow a linear quest line; however, there are a ton of hidden items and multiplayer options. Pitfall lets you jump over alligators, for God’s sake! ALLIGATORS! Why would you waste your time with all of these additional features when you could swing on a rope in Pitfall?

One hero to save them all – Pitfall Harry is the original Indiana Jones, not to be confused with an Indian named Jones. Drake from Uncharted 2 is the poor man’s Nathan Fillion and I think we all know it.

Pitfall’s cartridge can fit in your pocket – The Intellivision system allowed for extremely easy portability when it came to carrying around your favorite game, Pitfall (no doy). I don’t know if you guys have ever tried carrying around a Blu-ray disc in your pocket, but you might as well be carrying around a DVD in terms of comfort. What is more comfortable, an indestructible plastic masterpiece in your pants, or a stupid CD? I think we can all agree.

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What’s Bad

Call me a hypocrite – But… I’d like to invite my friends over to play Pitfall with me, where we can both swing on vines all day. However, adding multiplayer then adds an additional Pitfall Harry on screen, which will then confuse the players and slow down the graphical engine. See above regarding perks of this game, such as the incredible graphics that aren’t confusing.

Imposters – Thanks to Pitfall being such a huge success, every Tom, Dick and Sally try to imitate PFH (Pitfall Harry) when developing game heroes. Let’s run down the list of video game characters that have ripped off Pitfall Harry: Darth Vader, Hulk Hogan, Shakespeare, Zach Morris and Spiderman.

The classic sequel snoozers – Pitfall does not need a sequel, nor three or four. Every good game makes the classic mistake of putting out a sequel instead of just re-releasing the same original game with less content (my preferred method of delivery). If a company works hard enough to put out a game originally, why should they have to try as hard the second time around? Sit back, relax and enjoy the royalties (see the Twister Metal series).

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Worth Remembering:

Pitfall is the best single player game ever made. It is also the best multiplayer game for one player. If you’d like to inspect the accolades for Pitfall, then look no further: Best Game Ever, Best RPG, Best Religious Game, Super Bowl MVP, Sundance Movie Award and First Annual MMOMFG Uncharted 2 Killer Award.

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Worth Forgetting:

Uncharted 2

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If you’ve got the money and can find an Intellivision, go buy Pitfall. If you don’t have the money, you can come over to my house and we will begin playing Pitfall until I ask you to leave my house. If you come over, we will discuss Pitfall and current game strategy, such as “Jump over that alligator!” or “Why did you jump in the water, when there are alligators in there?!” I do not want to discuss Uncharted 2, unless it involves putting the game down and discussing why Pitfall Harry is super cool compared to Drake. I’ve spent a lot of time playing both games, so it is safe to say that I’m an expert when it comes to comparing these two highly comparable titles.

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