Madden 2010 Scheduled For Release This Friday, Aug. 14

Posted by Dustin On August - 11 - 2009

There are few things that gamers look forward to every year as much as Madden football. Granted the majority of the writers here at MMOMFG will likely not be picking up the title this year, but our decisions should not skew the sales totals by much. With expected sales in the cadrillions for this year’s iteration, players will anxiously line up at Walmarts and Gymborees for miles to pick up their copies.

I’d like to give a preview/preemptive review of this year’s version with a few expected updates, following that with things that will likely get left out unfortunately.

New Updates/Highlights/Returning Favorites:

Footballs
Referees with huge cod pieces
Playclocks
Animated cheerleaders and crowds
Cut-scenes from Karate Kid 2
Touchdown dances motion captured by David Carusso
Super Bowl Shuffle brought to you by the 1985 Chicago Bears
Updated rosters and statistics including Jay Cutler of the Chicago Bear’s 87 rating in diabetes

My Suggestions That Will Get Left Out of the Game:

Arena football stadium where you can bounce off the walls – I suggest this for FIFA every year for a damn indoor soccer map
New uniforms. Put the Cowgirls in their appropriate cut-offs and pink cowboy hats for helmets
Raising Terrell Owens dropped catch rating to an appropriate 97, directly correlating to his 99 rating in laziness and 64 in VH1 programming
Ambulance picking up injured/dead players off the field reminiscent of the 1994 version
Fixing the playclock after a player runs out of bounds, yet it still continues to tick down to end the quarter preemptively
The ability to knockdown sideline yard stick holders. WTF? The idiot who continues to keep this out of the game should be beaten to death. I’m being honest too.
Big Hit Stick 4.0 with a 0.02% chance of hit-stick contact causing immediate death to the player receiving the hit
Mutant League Football 2010

As listed above, you will likely see those features, but not my suggested ones. Honestly, who do I have to give the ‘stranger’ (if you don’t know what that is, you can’t afford it) to at EA Sports to get a staff position doing concept design?

To make a long story short, go get Madden 2010, as I inevitably will. Whether I like it not, that is up to how well the Shazbot State Shitbaggers do in my NCAA 2010 dynasty. The season is not looking too great yet with two losses and 3 academic suspensions.

*Images Courtesy of Electronic Arts and EA Sports